9 Steps to Start Planning Your Wedding
CONGRATS! Pop the bubbly and let’s celebrate your recent engagement. Whether you knew you were getting engaged soon or were completely surprised, it is a moment to soak in. You can’t wait to update your Facebook Relationship Status from “In a relationship” to “engaged.” You feed off the energy surrounding you’re engagement; people are pumped and excited FOR YOU. You jump on Instagram and Pinterest to start researching. You’re on Cloud 9 because of the love, joy, support, energy, and enthusiasm surrounding the bliss of engagement. However, you’re engaged, but now what?
That being on Cloud 9 feeling can be temporary for several reasons:
Everyone will start to ask you when you’re getting married and where you’re getting married.
Your family and sometimes friends will start to drop hints on who they want invited to your wedding.
You agonize who to ask to be part of your bridal party. How do I pick just ONE Maid of Honor and not hurt any feelings?
You consider how much you and your family (if they’re providing financial support) can afford to spend on your wedding.
You realize you need to start planning your BIG DAY! Get ready for lots of research, having a flexible schedule, and sending lots of emails.
You simply just one to plan a kick-a$$ wedding and don’t know where to start.
I’m here to give you a few practical steps to help you enjoy the high of being engaged but begin planning a fabulous wedding without the unnecessary stress. You might be surprised how I recommend prioritizing planning.
#1 HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR PARTNER
You and your partner need to have a heart-to-heart conversation prior to making any plans for your wedding celebration. This happens before speaking with friends and family. Remember, your wedding is a party to celebrate your commitment to marriage. Though hospitality is key to any great party, it is most important that you plan your wedding with intention, which means expressing yourselves and your bold personalities and interests. Ask each other what’s important to you, what elements/aspects of your relationship do you want to share with others, what are the things you enjoy.
#2 HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH KEY DECISION MAKERS
If you couldn’t tell, communication is so essential when it comes to wedding planning, which is why we should have all the conversations, even the tough ones, up front. Typically key decision makers are those that are contributing financially to your wedding celebration. Even though it can be awkward, it is so, so important to discuss both a wedding budget and potential invitees with decision makers. This is critical: listen to suggestions and ideas with an open heart, but do not be afraid to speak up for yourself. Remind any decision maker how and why you want to celebrate your marriage; I promise people will listen!
#3 FINALIZE A BUDGET & DECIDE ON PRIORITIES
As mentioned above, your budget is going to influence every decision you make. The internet has an abundance of budget templates available for personal use or any wedding planner should offer budget management in their full or partial planning services. From there, you’ll want to start prioritizing what’s most important to you. Is it food or photography? Is it the venue or how many people you can invite? Do you care about design elements and details?
Make decisions based upon what is important to you. A quick Google search for wedding planning budgeting tips results in the average percentage of their total budget couples spend on wedding vendors. Remember, you are not average and E V E R Y S I N G L E W E D D I N G will look different. If you’re having a small guest list and food isn’t a huge priority, you won’t need to allocate a large percentage of your budget to that component.
#4 DETERMINE YOUR WEDDING SIZE
An innocent mistake can turn into quite the nightmare when it comes to determining seating charts and floor plans! I highly recommend considering your wedding size before picking a date or choosing a venue. Nothing is worse than booking a too big or too small venue then trying to pack everyone in like sardines. My step four is always to start creating a guest list, considering if children are invited. This will influence the size of venue you select.
More people typically means more money on food, more money on invitations, and more money on bartending (if you go that route!), which leaves less room for other things that might be more important. Please note that some venues charge a per guest rate.
#5 GET INSPIRATION
Yup, we still haven’t picked a venue or a date yet. Crazy, right? Rather than picking a venue and then trying to fit a design or aesthetic into a box, think outside-the-box. Make mood boards or a Pinterest board, save photos on Instagram and start getting creative. What are the elements you want to incorporate into your wedding? Have you thought about colors? Things like the venue, videographer, or the photographer will elevate whatever mood or experience you want portrayed. Don’t know where to start with design or not feeling super creative? Hiring a planner to help with the design of your wedding is a great place to start!
#6 PICK A DATE (or dates) & RESEARCH TOP VENDOR PRIORITIES
I put these two items together because they can influence each other. There are a lot of great places to research vendors in your area. My favorites are Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook. Visit vendor websites, get to know the person behind the brand, check out their reviews, etc. Recently married friends are great people to seek out referrals. You could ask the vendors that you’ve booked for referrals; they’ll happily share names of vendors they enjoy working with or that fit the vibe of your event. It is helpful when vendors are familiar and comfortable with each other; teamwork makes the dream work! Find vendors who you think you’d mesh with personality-wise or have a certain aesthetic you admire. I recommend researching, meeting with, and obtaining quotes from at least 3 vendors if you’re not set on a certain vendor. You don’t know what you don’t know!
I do believe that you should consider when you want to get married (i.e. a season or particularly special date like 10/10/2020) and chat with your families about possible dates; they could have a job that has blackout dates where they cannot take off from work.
Notice I said, “dates.” Be open to a few date options if you have a particular vendor in mind or a timeframe doesn’t work for your family. Highly reputable vendors can book more than 12 months out! When Ben and I planned our own wedding, we knew exactly the photographer we wanted and we knew our venue. Their availability almost entirely influenced our wedding date.
#7 PICK A ROCKSTAR WEDDING PARTY (or not!)
When it comes to your wedding party, I have a no rules apply approach. I’m serious! Tell traditions to step aside because you are a modern couple. Have an uneven number for either side? Does that bother you or does it not matter? Do either of you have a groomswoman or a bridesman? Maybe in lieu of a Maid of Honor a brother could be the Best Man to a bride. Perhaps you don’t want a wedding party, and that’s completely fine! You call it, friend. Guess what: we had uneven numbers and my husband had a groomswoman. I wouldn’t change a thing!
#8 LIVE LIFE & CELEBRATE
It’s important to spend quality time with your partner throughout the engagement period. Keep the conversation fresh; it can be a real drag to constantly talk wedding. Enjoy a walk together, go see a movie, check out a new brewery, or try out a new recipe. It’s easy to get caught up in planning that we forget to simply live. I was guilty of it. Your wedding day is important, but it is one day on the calendar. Don’t forget to live life while you wedding plan; there are so many wonderful things going around in your life. Celebrate. Connect.
#9 REMEMBER - IT ISN’T A COMPETITION
At the end of the day, you’re planning a fabulous one-of-a-kind party. Your celebration will look and feel different than any other wedding you’ve been to and that is okay. We tend to overcomplicate, over-analyze, and stress ourselves out trying to uphold “standards” and not hurt feelings. Forget it. You can completely plan your wedding like a boss with kindness, respect, and staying true to you.
If you’re still needing help planning your wedding or need an expert to execute your amazing plans flawlessly, be sure to contact us. We’d love to grab a cocktail or coffee and sit down with you to discuss all the details of your wedding!
WELCOME!
Hey, I’m Terra!
Born and raised in Missouri, I’m a grateful wife and dog mom to my rescue pups, Hildi & Lola. I’m a true believer in the pursuit of bold dreams, learning from mistakes, and staying curious.
I'm a girl that lives in her Chacos during the summer, and I'm typically always wearing lipstick. Yes, red is my preference! When I'm not helping engaged couples plan weddings, you'll find me on stage teaching Jazzercise classes. Needless to say, creating engaging experiences that leave people feeling good afterwards is my passion. Seriously!
I’ve created this blog and my wedding packages to empower you to plan an awesome wedding day and put all of the stress and obligations straight into the dumpster! Now that sounds like a party.
